American Bitches

Saturday marked our last full day of vacation (imagine sad face here). We started the trip back from Koh Samet to Bangkok around 11am. It consisted of a trip almost identical to the trip over, save for a few small exceptions, and a rather dramatic ending.

The boat was packed with travelers this time. After we pulled away from port Megan had the thought to confirm that this boat was in fact going to Ban Phe. Perfect, right in front of us was a gentlemen whose chances of speaking English seemed quite high. "Excuse me, this is going to Ban Phe, right?" "No idea." Fabulous. I suddenly felt like the 2 German guys on our ride here who couldn't be totally sure the van was going on to Cambodia. Luckily for us, we did end up at the right place and jumped off the boat onto the dock like pros. Psh... 22-year-old backpackers have nothing on us.

After locating out mini bus driver, we were informed that we had about an hour to wait until the van would leave. Now some would suggest we walk around a bit, but we had a plan (we've done this before!): we were going to be the first 2 people on that bus if it's the last thing we do. No back seats for these ladies (we don't need another mango incident afterall).

So we waited and politely engaged in conversation with our competition while I kept one eye on the driver at all times. As soon as he moved an inch, I was on my feet and Megan and I were at the van door. Bam! Take that bitches!

Unfortunately a 130 departure time meant that we didn't get into Bangkok until the height of rush hour (yeah on a Saturday). Just inside the city, the driver pulls over and says "Ok! We here!" Uh, no we not. We paid for a ride to the hotel, thank you. As the rest of the van piled out, Megan and I made the decision not to be nice (dumb) tourists on this one. Looks like our American Bitches hats will need to come out. I must give most of the credit to Megan though. She led the conversation that got our driver to start driving us to the hotel. As he drove he started explaining in a mix of very little English and very grand hand gestures (he'd be a good charades partner...) that he had a small baby to feed, and that we should pay him an extra 300 baht. The minuscule amount of sympathy I had for him quickly vanished when he started yelling at traffic and driving like a crazy man. Damn it! How can there not be seatbelts in here?!?!? When we got to the hotel, it was my turn to wear the AB hat: as we got out of the van and he turned and said "money", I yelled "We already paid!" and slammed the door. We quickly walked away (me shaking, both in relief that we didn't die in a car accident and just because I always shake when I have to yell) and megan reassuring me it was ok. After crossing the street, we looked at each other and said "good blog story."