Hello, Google.

Is it weird that I trust Google more than MySpace and Facebook? They're all website phenomena that make money off of my participation. They all store too much of my private information and no doubt use it for some type of power, profit, and/or political gain. But for some reason, I hold a bit more trust and liking for Google. So much so that I have decided to delete (or at least attempt to - its not easy) my Facebook page, and start blogging here via Google, not MySpace.

I learned this weekend, at the National Conference for Media Reform, that Google is now worth more than General Electric, Ford Motors, and Coca Cola combined. Thats crazy. And to think - it all supposedly started in a basement. But whats crazier is that the popular social networking site, Facebook, not only provides my information to its numerous online partners (something that in a way Google also does), but now also alerts all of my friends when I purchase something on one of those partner's sites. Back before I learned of the conservative politics that Blockbuster plays, I used their online movie rental service. One day, after I'd added a new title to my movie queue, I saw a notice at the bottom of the screen that says "Sara has just added High Fidelity to her Blockbuster Queue". WTF? Sure, High Fidelity is no big deal, but what about the fact that I tend to rent it often - maybe so often that its a mystery why I don't just own a copy. Suddenly my crush on John Cusack is no longer my secret indulgence, its now an obsession seen by all 183 of my friends. Hmmm... something seems wrong here.

Waaaaiiiittt a minute - now, that is indeed an annoying "feature" (that I have since learned can be turned off), but is it really reason enough to attempt to write off Facebook? No, no, I agree - that probably isn't enough for me to say goodbye either. However, the following is.

Upon more investigation of the board members of Facebook (there are only 3, despite the estimated value of $15 billion), I found that at least two of the three board members participate and promote ideas that directly contradict my own. After graduating from Stanford (where he founded a rightwing journal that is still up and running some 20 years later), board member Peter Thiel wrote a book in 1988 called the Diversity Myth in which he argued that the idea of multiculturism prohibits individual freedoms. I don't know about you, but that seems to be the EXACT opposite of what I think multiculturism does. Additionally, he is a member of Vanguard.org, an ultra conservative website organization that seems to, from what I gather, have been set up solely to take down Moveon.org (one of my favorite organizations working toward a progressive future). Jim Breyer, the other board member that I am deeply suspicious of, sits on the board of none other than Wal-Mart. I find it hard to believe that the money Theil and Breyer are making off of my personal information and record of web activity isn't somehow, somewhere being poured into neoconservative organizations that are working against everything I am working toward.

My distrust with MySpace is a bit less focused on the security and privacy issue, and more on an overall question of whether or not I really want to be supporting the person who now owns it. Two years ago, media mogul, Rupert Murdoch, added MySpace to his fast-growing collection of media sources. Murdoch owns News Corporation, the entity that most notoriously embodies all Fox programming, including Fox News. While Fox News constitutes as "fair and balanced" to most of my family, to me it does not. Additionally, Murdoch sits on the board of directors for Philip Morris, which reportedly donated $2.9 Billion to the good ol' George Dubyah campaign in 2000. I'd say Mr. Murdoch and I share a difference in tastes.

So anyway - there are my reasons for making the switch. I’ve transferred my blogs from MySpace to here and will from here on out be entering random thoughts here.... that is, until I learn something about Google that will cause the jaw to drop, hand to go to mouth, and fingers to start typing a Google farewell.

The things we recognize but do not say

we go out, fall into a slight intoxication - not enough to constitute as drunk, but enough to make us stare a little longer, and smile a little bigger. enough to make us say more than maybe we should. enough to make us turn off our cell phones and forget about others. you talk to me about her and while you never say it directly, you tell me in your lazy descriptions what i know. you want so bad for it to work out, for what you have with her seems so perfect. more perfect than anything before. i don't pry, i don't encourage a deeper dish about the problems. instead i listen and smile and wonder if this smile is making it worse. you're doing the thing you used to do, you're watching my lips form the words, occasionally glancing back up to my eyes as if to briefly check in with me. its a contagious behavior and i find myself doing the same to you. you slip and say my name in a drawn out manner, as if you are going to tell me something you shouldn't. its the pause before a leap that i recognize from a sometimes-brief and sometimes-long time ago. i wait for it, silently struggling with hope and fear. your eyes bounce from corner to corner in the room. i see how uncomfortable you are and in an effort to distract you from it, i catch the eye of the waiter and order us 2 more drinks. it works and the moment has passed. and, as beautiful as what has just happened may seem to others, we both breathe a deep inaudible sigh of relief.

Light blue or dark blue... just as long as its blue

So last week was an exciting week for this OTHER Washington. A brief moment in history that made many of its residents perk up, care and get a little more involved. Like many others, I had been struggling with making the decision who I was in MORE favor of (because, afterall, neither are bad choices) and this just might help. For about six months now I've been inexplicably drawn more toward Clinton, but earlier in the week had, reluctantly yet also confidently, made the decision to support Obama. So, I jumped at the chance to see the two Democratic Candidates in person, no doubt making my dominantly Republican family roll their eyes one more time at my black sheep liberal ways and audacity.

Hillary Clinton's event was first and obviously much smaller than Barack's would be... and not in the best location. We waited 2 hours for her arrival, all the while standing on concrete and desperately wishing for better airflow. I huddled with 5 other friends in the crowd and killed time by talking about pretty much everything but politics. When she did arrive and speak, I couldn't help but be surprised. I had expected a colder version of this woman that the media portrays to be so harsh and insincere. But, what I heard instead was a strong, direct, and confident woman that doubt not only knows what needs to be done, but also how to do it. She incorporated the issue most important to me, the environment, into nearly every issue she spoke about (which was smart considering where she was). At the end I felt empowered and motivated. Of course, my feelings and inspiration could, admittedly, stem from a variety of other factors including the fact that I was raised in a household where femininity and warmth did not take form in a typical supermom fashion. My mother and grandmothers are just like the woman I listened to that night; they are direct and confident and strong in the most bold "I am woman, hear me roar" sense. And they get shit done. Everytime. So what I saw up there on that platform was not a farce of a feminine being, but a true testament to what a woman should and can be. And when I walked outside into the cold wind, a closed-mouth grin spread across my face. I had been pleasantly surprised by what I saw and was secretly relieved by the creeping desire to return to the Clinton Camp.

Friday I, along with a coworker and 2 friends, got in line at Key Arena at 9:30 a.m. sharp. Apparently we were not the only ones to feel the need to get there early; I estimated about 5,000 fellow Washingtonians got there before then with rumors of the line starting as early as 7:00 am. After waiting an hour in the cold wind, we were finally moving and got inside to a seat. This was visibly going to be much different than the previous night's adventure. In front of us was a stage, platforms of media people and cameras, and huge screens above us depicting PSA-like clips aimed at strengthening our commitment to Senator Obama's candidacy. While at times it was exciting, it also possessed a commercial-like aura and something about it made me grimace at the impersonal clash with the previous night's experience. Within 30 mins the place was packed. And I soon heard the estimation that 18,000 people were in the room eagerly awaiting Barack's arrival, and another 3,000 outside disappointed but still "fired up". The biggest surprise was the number of young people in the room, some of whom did not look nearly old enough to vote in November. I couldn't decide whether I was impressed and inspired by their enthusiasm and interest, or irritated and disappointed in their juvenile and obnoxious behavior. When Senator Obama came out, it was like a Stones concert... 18,000 people screaming and camera flashes ignited from all around the room. I recognized the rush that I felt the last time I was there; however it was 3 years ago and I was there to see U2. Hmmmm. Barrack spoke eloquently (as I have heard he does) and within moments I was captivated. He touched on individual issues only briefly, spending most of his emphasis on the bigger picture of creating change and unity. I, being the romantic and persistent optimist that I am, loved what he was saying. I screamed with the crowd in all the right places and believed in his ideas and call for change. I got chills when he called for a country united by inspiration and confidence, no longer divided by politics and competition. And, when I left I was exhausted.

I had hoped that at the end of those 24 hours I would have a much clearer picture on who I should vote for based on their support of the issues that I hold closest to me. However, it didn't happen. From the in-person observations and the later direct comparisons of issues pages on each of their websites, I could draw no definitive conclusion. It reinforced my belief that Senators Obama and Clinton do not differ that much, if at all, in their opinions or plans. In fact, at times while comparing the two, I found it hard to find ANY difference on the issues or in their plans. Instead, what differentiates the two candidates is simply style and history, and thats it. Therefore, on Saturday, at my first ever caucus experience, I had to base my vote on something that I did not anticipate ever having to consider: that is, how I felt when I walked out of each candidate's events that week. And, so, for the reasons listed above, I voted for Hillary - the one who made me feel most empowered, the one who made me feel confident in the how and not just the what, and the one who boasted qualities and strengths that are deeply familiar to me.

What I Learned in 2007

Well, its now 2008 and I feel I must continue last year's What I Learned blog... each year, it changes - thank God. I assume that means I'm not making the same mistakes year after year? Anyway, here goes.

It really is possible to like your job.

Above all else, be nice to people - in the end, you'll feel better.

Yes, I AM just like my mother - and proud of it.

8 months might as well be a lifetime.

Remembering tragedy is part of healing; dwelling on it is not.

Pizza is quite possibly the best food ever created.

Someone can move 3 quarters of the way around the world and still continue to grow closer and closer to you every day.

I really don't like skiing.

Giving someone a second chance doesn't mean that what they did in the first place was okay.

Bumbershoot should be a 21 and over event. Period.

That one doesn't count.... definitely doesn't count.

You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.

Its okay to want more.

My favorite things about NYC are Charlie, Kevin and Merissa.

No matter how many times it happens, disappointment is still painful.

Vonage sucks.

Suzanne, Liz, Jenny, and Sarah are more than I could have ever asked for.

Take advantage of your health insurance; when you don't have it, you'll inevitably really need it.

Your lips can be absolutely mesmerizing.

I hate shrimp. Yes, even shrimp cocktail.

Black and White is still my favorite; but Color is definitely growing on me.

Closure is a very satisfying thing.

I'm worth more than what you wanted to give.

While a baby is still not something I long for, its no longer something I never want.

I'm allowed to change my mind, and then change it back again... twice.