As I watch the tears fill to the brim and finally pour over and down her cheeks, my heart sinks. I know how she is feeling. I know it well. The pain, the absolute and utter disbelief, and the panicked feeling that she can't breath. It suffocates her soul and rattles even the deepest part of her. Because even though she knows better, it still feels like it was all for nothing. Years of pain to save something no longer worth saving. It's over. Enough is finally enough. Her one just became her no-one. And it's unbearable.
I know that there is nothing anyone can say or do to make her feel any better. Nothing. There are no words, no actions. I cannot hug her, I cannot tell her its going to be alright or that its better off this way. I cannot tell her that in time she will feel free, be stronger, feel trust again. Because none of this matters at this moment. There's a reason they call it heartache. Because, though you are exhausted and your entire body hurts, its your heart and chest that feel the worst.
The only thing I can offer is this - a saying that I have chanted in some of my darkest hours: "Into life a little rain must fall… but we must not lose hope that the sun will soon break again." Because it will, my love – afterall, yesterday was the first day of Summer.
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